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If the fast-and-furious vibe doesn’t click your clock, the food will - perfectly fried calamari and shrimp, in a suit coat of batter, served hot as a Harley and lickety-split. Her boyfriend, Steve Michaels, is a little more fretful about the stunt cyclists, a reminder that he isn’t as young or stupid as he once was.

Taking note of the daredevils performing along the highway, she shrugs and decides: “This is cool. “I really like how nothing changes here,” Oatway says. Oatway and her boyfriend, Tom Skene, soaked up some morning waves at nearby Zuma and are now self-soothing in this seafood emporium, opened in 1956 by Eastman Jacobs. But you just really need to say it aloud: That is insane. “That’s insane,” says Angelika Oatway, stating the obvious. Every 20 minutes, some idiot rider with a death wish pops a long wheelie as he exits the premises. A CNN crew is here taping a travel piece. The crowd is jovial, chatty, turned on by the spectacle of all this. To be honest, it looks like a hillbilly wedding - all ages, all types, swirly hair, the whiff of good ganja.įront and center are the motorcyclists and their heaving machines, crackling hot and panting at the curb like horses. We roll in looking like a Nick Nolte booking photo, all windblown and reddened from our ride in the Jeep. It tastes like the wave that just broke your board. On a sunny summer weekend, Neptune’s Net is my favorite place on the planet. Yet the most-beloved hangout - to my mind the reason Malibu exists at all - is a landmark roadhouse on the outskirts that is equal parts good grub and great floor show. I’ll place Malibu Farm, the organic cafe on the pier, as one of my favorite lunch spots. There are all sorts of better places to eat up here: Nobu if you want to be seen, and Geoffrey’s if you want to propose. Once in a while, you duck into Mickey D’s just because. The lesson? Malibu is much like anywhere else.

NEPTUNES NET CA DRIVER

We make do with the young woman in the gleaming new Porsche who blows kisses to the driver for letting her in, then cuts sharply into the McDonald’s lot for lunch. This day, there are no celebrities in sight. Throw a stone in Malibu, you’ll hit a Gosling. Up here, half the dudes resemble Gosling. And I think another celeb, Ryan Gosling, once cut me off in traffic near the pier, but I can’t be sure.

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